It didn’t matter much, she trusted the scientist, and gruff as he was, he knew that she was the only person willing enough to participate in his mad experiments and losing her would lose the only willing guinea pig. Anyways, it’s a miracle I can partake in such great science. And I’m sure this will be educational and reassuring. Because she was SURE that the scientist couldn’t be correct. She lay on the testing site, as the headset was lowered onto her eyes. She was ready for her glimpses to the future.
A tear trickled down Vanessas face as she glanced down at the horrible future that one extra line on the pregnancy test posed. She clutched at her stomach. This-This cursed thing would kill her! A parasite, a cancer, growing in her uterus. No…! What am I going to do? Vanessa began to hyperventilate, breath and heartrate growing quicker and quicker. I thought it was safe, that we had done it right.
Vanessa and her now ex-boyfriend had been fooling around, and little did they know this would be the result. She hadn’t wanted to do anything, as she knew the consequences could not be changed, but he convinced her that it would be okay. And she cursed herself for believing him.
The harsh Texas sun beat down, adding a weird distortion to Vanessa’s gaze as she glanced outside, which was accentuated by the tears filling her eyes. My life is over.
Just a few seconds ago the view had seemed so beautiful, the sun gave her such joy. But now she knew she could never enjoy it for the rest of her life. She would be stuck—stuck with that THING. That THING that would ruin her life. That THING that she had no way of getting rid of. Her legs gave out and she collapsed on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. An intrusive thought struck her, she had heard of those THINGS dying in women when they were in accidents. Perhaps her demon would leave her body if she was injured like that. She had half the mind to stand up and collapse again just to get rid of it.
In fact, it wasn’t a bad idea. I can’t tell them. Vanessa thought, organizing her thoughts, still face-down on the bathroom floor. My parents would disown me. I’d be in a worse situation than now. Tears filled her eyes again. I’m sorry God. She had never been extremely religious like her parents, and perhaps this was the punishment. You said You would forgive those who repented. I repent. Please, save me from this.
There was no reaction, no clap of thunder, no signal that He had heard. Not even a fly buzzing into her room. As if in a trance, Vanessa picked herself off the ground. I’ve done nothing wrong. What I did was perfectly normal for teenagers. Yet I am the only one doomed to this fate. She absentmindedly slid open the window. The net preventing insects from entering had broken a few days ago, and it was almost a sign. She perched on the windowsill. If I were to take one step off, this torture would end. The demon inside of me would perish, but so would I. She glanced down at the dry concrete below as a rush of dry warm air blew past her inside. Is it even worth living anymore? My choices have been snatched from me; my body no longer belongs to myself. She leaned onto the white-painted pane of the window, sobbing.
What am I going to do? If I keep it, my life is over. My parents will disown me, I will be chained to a needy monster, a monster myself if I abandon it. I can’t abort it because it’s illegal. I need parental consent as well, and my parents will disown me anyways. There’s no one to help me through this except my girlfriend, and if she and I come out we won’t survive the persecution of this tiny catholic town.
I might as well end this… Vanessa thought, and the event faded out.
The apprentice spasmed out of the chair, gasping at the horror. “She’s going to kill herself! We have to help!” she pleaded.
The scientist idly inspected his nails. “Ah you must have stumbled upon the monologue timeline. June 2nd 2023. The Machine was searching for a space to occupy on the timeline and picked that girl. Honestly, I don’t know what you’re so worked up about. Situations like those are a regular occurrence in the future.”
The woman tried to swallow her horror. “She mentioned a demon! Monsters! Having no control over her own body! Are you telling me people are forced to host demons in the future?”
“A child. She has a human embryo. Her venomous thoughts towards the thing roughly were roughly translated by the Machine.”
The apprentice stared incredulously at the scientist. “You’re telling me that she wanted to kill a child in her womb? That she was going to kill herself just to kill a child? That’s so inhumane! She created it!” The apprentice shrank back at the look of pure disgust the scientist shot at her.
“How hypocritical. You wanted to help extort a demon, but not remove a clump of cells that would have caused much more harm to her than any supernatural pestilence? Switched up fast. Why not just force everyone with cancer to live with it and let it consume them? Their own bodies created the cancer after all, they should be forced to allow the cancer to kill them. Its people like you that create the horrible future.”
The apprentice flushed bright red. “B-But that’s not fair. A human embryo is human—”
“So you value the life of a newly formed clump of cells that may not even survive more than a fully formed human with a life, with thoughts and hopes and dreams and people she loves and who love her? Pathetic.”
“The embryo has potential—”
“The embryo is a cancer. A rapidly growing clump of cells that diverts nutrients from the host to itself. And the host doesn’t want it. If I let a seed grow, who knows, maybe it would give me fruit later. But time doesn’t work like that, and the lack of one thing in the future because of events in the past does not categorize as losing something. You never had it. That embryo could be a president, or a terrorist. And no matter the effect, it is still ruining someone’s life. And because you so believe you are correct, let’s look into the life of that cell. Born to an unwilling mother in a hostile environment, there are high chances it is born with a deficiency. It is only supported by a single mother who wishes it was never born. The mother is a high-schooler, with her own problems to solve, and can barely fend for herself. She can’t support herself, much less this new life she was forced to grow. Her girlfriend, I presume, would be more than happy to help her, but can’t because if she supported the social outcast, would herself be an outcast and additionally they would both be persecuted simply because they love each other, leaving the child with no one that is committed to help it. Forced into the foster care system with a minimal chance of adoption, then forced to survive in the hell that is future America.”
“Okay… but—”
“And before you mention how two girls are unnatural for loving each other, there is no reason why they can’t. And the people who believe they have the right to control other people or judge them for being different are the same ones that believe in a higher power that explicitly instructs them to ‘be kind to thy neighbor’. Mind your own business and shut up about others.”
The scientist said all this without a flicker of emotion since his disgusted expression directed at her. “That Now only lasted a few ticks, a few minutes, on the timeline, as it was a test to check the compatibility of the machine with the timeline and to see if you can take the knowledge that we as humans are doomed into cycles of suffering.” The scientist’s eyes were dark and boring yet still somehow, they pierced through the apprentice. “I’ll leave that for you to decide, although you don’t seem quite promising.”
I don’t know if I can take it… the apprentice realized dejectedly. For all her bravado in being certain humans could fix themselves, they continued to control each other using the same thinking patterns she operated on. Thinking like hers was the reason the world was doomed. At least there are people like the scientist in this world. And perhaps, the apprentice herself could change her thinking in his company. “I can take it.” She perched back onto the Machine’s chair and slipped the headset back on.
“I’ll set up another short one.”
to be continued
